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Frequently Asked Questions

"Why are you still single?!"

Thank you!  I have a number of theories on this one.  The "short" answer is, I'm at a point in my life now where I know all too well what I definitely want and don't want.  And the problem is, what I want is pretty hard to find.

"How many people have you met here?"

I've met a few people over the years.  I think I've corresponded with about a couple dozen people, and actually met only about a dozen--half locally, and half from "afar."  I ended up dating three different ones for about six weeks or so each, and one that actually lasted two years!

"So what exactly are you looking for?"

People usually want someone much the same as themselves in terms of basic interests and values.  I want to find someone who is as broad, deep, and centered (as I think I am); who is also healthy in mind, body, and spirit (many seem to think the 2nd isn't important); committed to continual personal growth and relationship building; emphasizing the qualities of adventure, warmth, playfulness, and (to my eyes) physical beauty; and absolutely must be a non-smoker, no small children, and slender.

"What do you find (physically) attractive?"

Generally speaking, a long, dark mane, light, soulful eyes, full lips, slender waist, long legs, you know! :)

"Do you get/You must get many responses"

Actually, no.  I think many women self-select themselves out since I am so clear about who I am and what I am looking for.  Some, I hear, are just plain intimidated. (there's really no need to be).  My biggest roadblock, I believe, is that most women want (or already have) their own children and this is one of my absolutes that I don't want, so that severely narrows the field.

"Why won't you accept someone with small children if you have two of your own?"

Simple--mine are **part-time**--big difference!  I always knew that I wasn't cut out to be a full-time parent, and I was right!  I love my boys--my life is richer with them; and I also really value not having them all the time.  That doesn't make me a bad father--my boys are much better off with me living true to myself, and they actually get much better time from both their parents this way.  I do still want to find someone who will join me in raising them in the times we have them and show them what a good, loving adult relationship is.

"Don't you think you're being unreasonable?"

We all have our list of things we want and don't want.  I've had lots of opportunity to contemplate mine while online over the last few years, and I'm pretty darned sure about them by now.

"So what's wrong with you?"

Oh I'm sure anybody can find something to not like!  (can't we all?)  Since I prefer being forthright, I don't mind exposing some of my "flaws"--I know the right person will appreciate the whole package.  For instance, I listen to Howard Stern in the morning and NPR in the afternoon; I like Nine Inch Nails as much as Mozart; I'm very bright yet have difficulty with the simplest things sometimes; I'm a successful professional yet have no savings whatsoever (bad!); I love my boys, and I also appreciate not having them all the time--I do not want full-time kids; most people guess I'm much younger than I am, and I prefer someone who is more youthful, at least in spirit if not actually; See? A little something for everyone to dislike :) I guess, a 'study in contradictions' might better describe me.

How recent are your pics?

One to four years old. The B&W is from a photo shoot four years ago, but I swear! it's still entirely accurate! (I'll give you references if you insist :) In one pic, I do have a beard which I had many years ago; and you can't really tell in any of them that I had a ponytail because I meant for it to be a subtle rather than overt feature (which I no longer have anymore).

"Aren't you afraid mentioning how much you make will only attract gold-diggers?"

It hasn't been a problem so far, and I think there's enough information here that such a person, any person, who isn't interested in the whole me (as I am in them), just won't respond.  Besides, I pay support to one and private school tuition for two, so I don't have that much--just enough for some serious fun.  Money is just as much a part of me as anything else, and you can see I lay it all out here.  This and sexuality, unfortunately, seem to be "taboo" subjects that don't get talked about until too late and then turn out to be the most highly contentious issues in a relationship.  I think people should "know what they're in for" before they waste too much time and then find out too late.

"Does distance matter?"

I don't think so, but it does make it a little more....challenging.

"I won't read anything for general public consumption. Tell me something that everyone doesn't already know."

Sorry, no.  If you can't be bothered to read more than 3 words of the 65 (yes, 65) pages I have spent years creating, then I can't be bothered with you either. (ouch!)

"I don't have a picture I can send"

Get one!   There's just no excuse for not having one anymore these days.

"How old are you?"

Most people guess around 45 or so; I've always had a 'baby face', never smoked, live reasonably healthily.

"Why are you looking for someone younger?"

Cuz I'm a guy! :-) Actually, age is a relative thing.  I find that most people, when they reach their 30's, settle down (give up, actually) and become quite dowdy and boring (not to mention get quite out of shape).  I want someone who's youthful adventurous, and playful...like me!

"Where are you?"

Philly.  OK, now I'm getting into basic material that's all over my pages, and it's pretty easy to find.

Why don't you take a few minutes to poke around :-)